I wish I never told you

As I watch the sun rise, the wait begins
My get out plan is now all revealed, and yes it's a sin
It was my idea for years, too many years are now gone
Yesterday I told you, and it all came out wrong

I laugh, as though it's all a big joke
Yet you have to tell someone, now I'm the butt of the joke
In truth I have never previously tried suicide before
It's always comforting knowing that death is always at my door

A cut, a pinch, a punch, a tear
My life is screwed up, I know no-one really cares
Suffering in silence just turned into an easier vice
Than listening to the psycharistrists advice

There are many things I still have not told you, things I'm eager to say
Often you don't listen, and the trust withers away
It took three times of me telling you, till you gave me that look
And still I'm just a name in your black fucking book

When you're not here, I'm never alone
The voices they tell me just what they want done
I don't even tell the voices that I wish to die
And yet I told you in confidence, I now wish I lied

Now I'll have to rethink my plan for becoming nothing once more
My will is all written to settle the end of the score
So now I'll have to rethink a plan to end my life
Forever I'm stuck on the suicide note I write

No matter whats happens I know for sure
I'll awake in a hospital bed, facing my life, the chore
I always hit that reset button again and again
It's the power button that brings this game to an end