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Awaiting Dark Dominion
By Riven Waker
Neural tissue like web sprawled
Lacing rivers of blood and pulpy flesh
Flowing down mountains of skull and bones
Replete with inscription - hasted scrawled runes
Tracing out your doom - labyrinthine pathways
Through catacombs cadavers corridors crawl
Fragmented skull and splintered bones
In the fluid glistening entombed
The great worms inseminate
The seething vast wounds
Phantasmagorical old ones unborn
Cradled grotesque within womb undead
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
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Copyright 2010 Riven Waker
Published on Wednesday, July 6, 2016.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
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Comments on "Awaiting Dark Dominion"
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A former member wrote:
I have felt the exact same way. The feeling of doom, walking down endless corridores of rotting flesh and bone. It gave me the intense feeling of my walk thru the catacombes and pits of hell. Gave me chills, nicely done.
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A former member wrote:
Yet another sick piece... as always! write on! :)
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On Tuesday, June 15, 2010, jonLyndon
(113)
wrote:
"Lacing rivers of blood and pulpy flesh" Splendid imagery w/ some excellent well-crafted rhyme; as much as I like your use of alliteration, it does feel just a little forced (sorry); love that you end on 'crawl' & begin next line w/ 'Cracked skulls...' but I have a hard time feeling the use of 'cadavers' as much as I understand where you are bringing the poem. It's so close to perfect (for me) I just wish the alliteration was less forced; I think (IMO) just switching the 2 words cadavers & corridors around would greatly increase the feel of this excellent poem. I hate giving critique (I know my poems are not always spot on) as I feel like a bit of a dung, but that's my only point of The Great Criticism. The final 2 lines absolutely bring this poem together like a Lovecraftian pulse, "seething & entombed". Also, I love the intro line. Very well done!
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On Tuesday, June 15, 2010, RubyXero
(484) wrote:
nice flow and imagery. loved it
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A former member wrote:
well this peice is undoubtedly dark.... makes me wonder what brought this to your mind....write on....~S
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