aTARActic (Our Dirty Little Secret)

I walk into a steady silence, god... that's chilling.
I think to myself, "deja vu"... I fucking hate this feeling.

I stand at the bedroom door, knowing what's on the other side.
Take a deep breath, grab the handle, close my eyes...


and then you

rip, into me.
With those extended claws.
I try to plea,
but your not hearing at all.

So I,
remember my place.
Try to speak, so dumb.
I shield my face,
I know what's about to come....



The screaming, will forever haunt me.
You speak meaningless words that lead to hollow promises, just to taunt me.

I cherished you, with everything I had left.
And what I had left, you had no problem removing from my chest.

If only you were as beautiful inside, as you are out.
Or as ugly outside as you are in, there would have been no initial attraction... no doubt.

My life is built around this cancer, and that can't be good.
Yet why I decide to stay, will never be understood.

I guess I'm just too far in, to back out now.
I lie in bed looking at you, trying to figure out how.

Those sweet lips, could shield such a venomous tongue.
And how that body, can house such a monster... that prays on the young.

I could live in your moments of lucidity forever, but those are few and far between.
And I have given up trying to explain, exactly what I mean.

You squeeze out tears of imaginary sorrow, which leads to my guilt.
And right then and there is where, my self-respect begins to wilt.

I'm not supposed to speak of these actions, that occur when these doors close.
When your mask comes off, damn piercings are torn, and then that bloody nose.

"I should be lucky? I take you for granted?" heard it all before.
"You're right babe, I'm sorry, I won't do it anymore."

6 hours, and thousands of waisted breaths later... I look at you in that bed.
I wonder, exactly.... What it is that's going through your head...






Besides this bullet.