Last Hour

By ubiquitoussoul

 

 

 

My heart lay taciturn and dour

This in silked shadows did yearn

Beating did slow my last hour

Never to hear a return-

 

 

Crumbling to glinting soil

Gray tears of an autumn rain

Bleeding did sun grow flowers

Never to feel a return-

 

 

Were years of pain and turmoil

In a meadow white soul burn

Dreaming did slow my last hour

Never to see a return-

 

 

My eyes did in the sky

Stars and a severed wing

Gleaming above golden hands

Birds on a cloud did sing-

 

 

Melodies from an earthen cry

Lifted my soul from this land

Praying as I close my eyes

Never again to return-

 

 

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© Adrian Torres
Published on Friday, April 9, 2010.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Least Tried.Most Prized.
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "Last Hour"

Log in to post comments.
  • jonLyndon On Saturday, August 7, 2010, jonLyndon (113)By person wrote:

    "Stars and a severed wing" Pure brilliance! the repetition in places works very well for this sombre, yet sober piece of your heart. Nicely written.

  • A former member wrote: i love this it really gets to me idk y. im faving

  • Dilated View On Monday, May 17, 2010, Dilated View (583)By person wrote:

    I really enjoyed the structure used here as well as the word usage. A soft disappearance, acknowledging the essence of what that passing might be like. Mournful yet inevitable. Well done.

  • A former member wrote: "never again to return" I love doing that, adding one sentence to the end of every paragraph, makes it nice. You could be in a band....some kind of rock band would fit nicely with your writing.

  • A former member wrote: love your work,dude!

  • charliebrown On Wednesday, April 21, 2010, charliebrown (22)By person wrote:

    excellent read

  • boneplate On Friday, April 16, 2010, boneplate (58)By person wrote:

    Very interesting.... in a meadow white soul burn..bleeding did sun grow flowers.....lots of classic lines...

  • Rowan On Monday, April 12, 2010, Rowan (202)By person wrote:

    I envy you. This piece was brilliant. I wish I could write like this. Every line was beautiful and utterly amazing.

  • A former member wrote: very momentous... the refrain as well as the diction, and the syntactic play, and perhaps the brevity of the meter... mostly end stopped lines, i think all combine to create a very reverberating tone here... a voice that creates it's own momentum.... and seems to silence in it's wake. recalls poe in many ways... my happiest day, happiest hour... and the refrain of the raven...... cryptic throughout. nice write.

  • Malcholm Dark On Saturday, April 10, 2010, Malcholm Dark (810)By person wrote:

    Well done my friend, a masterpiece... I love your old world prose... "my heart lay taciturn and dour"... your wording is always the best... Great visuals, thank-you so much

  • lupus tenebrae On Saturday, April 10, 2010, lupus tenebrae (872)By person wrote:

    Such amazing imagery, and it gives off a cocktail of emotions. "Gray tears of an autumn rain" just one of many great lines, thanks for sharing. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: this poem was confusing to me, should i be happy, or sad. relieved, or dissapionted...i did like it, it had a mystery ora to it, very uniq for your type of writing....it was a joy to read, kept me thinking... good job, cant wait for more. Scholar

Contribution Level

Poets Bookmarking This Work
ubiquitoussoul's Favorite Poets
ubiquitoussoul's Favorite Works
Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]