Possibly Popular (a tounge in cheek tribute to Six-Out)

By Revolting Theatre

 This guy...
This guy who hasn't used a capital letter in like 28 fucking poems.

I can almost hear it,
"I love you, Jon...you're such a brilliant writer."
Over and over like an infomercial starring 16 year old girls in Twilight costumes.
Well, you know what Jon....

I think you're ugly!  
With your metaphors,
sweeping readers under the echo of your endless blanket of romance.
Your free verse,
lumping heart-felt honesty in with a touch of mystery all while driving and talking on your cell phone and melting the emotional walls I've worked so hard to build.
I think I speak for everyone when I say...

"You need to cut that shit out, you are taking all the darkpoetry pussy."

Popular in a sanctuary for misfits?
You're practically a Mexican Papa Smurf!
  Elvis in the land of broken hearts and insomniacs.
     Grey Goose in a room of empty glasses.

But I've seen you, 
flesh and blood,
smelled your breath all coffee and cigarettes.
Heard your voice, scratched and dignified like an aged Eric Cartman,
saying,

"If you ever need anything, I'm always here for you."

Well fuuuuuuck you Six-Out! 
Enticing me for hours with your playful sarcasm.
Looting my punch lines with your swift wit.
Liberating my soul when I was perfectly depressed.

Try walking in my jealous Converse All-Stars.
Try actually having to try to make it look easy.
Try my panties that bunch up in the front when I sleep.
(seriously, will you wear my underwear?)

Mr. makes me wanna puke your so good with....uh....words.
Mr. a billion people are gonna tribute me.
Mr. perfect nipples.

I hate loving you.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2010 Revolting Theatre
Published on Monday, February 1, 2010.     Filed under: "Poetry"

Author's Note:

My submission for Lethe's contest.
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Comments on "Possibly Popular (a tounge in cheek tribute to Six-Out)"

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  • BetaWolfinVA On Sunday, November 18, 2012, BetaWolfinVA (919)By person wrote:

    very well executed Scholar

  • Devilish On Tuesday, October 30, 2012, Devilish (3799)By person wrote:

    Lmfao.. wow.. brilliant. Scholar

  • Dei On Tuesday, June 5, 2012, Dei (708)By person wrote:

    No fucking shit! omfg! thank you so much. SOrry for the inelequence and profanity. lol This was great.

  • Virgils Vigil On Tuesday, May 10, 2011, Virgils Vigil (85)By person wrote:

    Hilarious. A really fun read. Scholar

  • Liz On Wednesday, March 24, 2010, Liz (272)By person wrote:

    Sixie has perfect nipples?

  • punk mc cool On Tuesday, March 2, 2010, punk mc cool (79)By person wrote:

    woah nice write :D

  • A former member wrote: *Tips his hat* Nice write... painted a picture I'll not soon forget! YO!

  • Six-Out On Tuesday, February 2, 2010, Six-Out (1483)By person wrote:

    oh josh, how your words woo me. I'll never forget dancing with santa or the cold ass garage, chillin' (pardon the pun) and chatting about life.

  • A former member wrote: You forgot about his ugly tattoos and stupid cat. :( Okay. I admit it. I'm jealous, too. Thanks for writing this, so I didn't have to one day myself. I'm gonna go cry now and pretend I'm Jon.

  • A former member wrote: I noticed, and it was fuckin awesome. You envious soul you.... It is hard not to love hate Jon. I know I love hate him. =)

  • Revolting Theatre On Monday, February 1, 2010, Revolting Theatre (31)By person wrote:

    I wonder if everyone notices me "gushing" on about his incredible writing ability....

  • Aleas On Monday, February 1, 2010, Aleas (183)By person wrote:

    Who's Six-Out? Bam!!!

  • Winter Born On Monday, February 1, 2010, Winter Born (170)By person wrote:

    I love it! I have to agree with Darkpoet, though... I think He can take it. but you should probably find some cover to shelter you from the return fire..

  • DarkPoet On Monday, February 1, 2010, DarkPoet (223)By person wrote:

    What's this, rip on Six contest? I think he can take it. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: hahaha... all the dp pussy... ain't that the truth...hahaha. mr Casanova.... the dp pimp himself! This was funny, good tribute! Scholar

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