Confessions of a junkie

Destructive demon, I thought you were.
Until, I finally observed...
Life, without you around.
Hard, I miss the solace I found.
You helped me, escape my reality.
And flooded away, my abnormalities.
A savior from my mind, my hell
I was living, just to in-and-exhale.
Or...
That orgasmic smell, and numbing taste.
Inside my head, you were my saving grace.
And...
Another I welcomed with opened arms,
and pierced veins... Brutally charmed.
Also...
Such a horrid taste, upon my tongue, then...
Setting in a crescent moon fishing for stars..... Lucy just sung
Above my body, I see a white light.
Look down & see my self, and a flash... I know what happened that night.
I sat paralyzed, velcroed to my seat.
As a man shook and seized & died at my feet.
You went from a "messiah" to another problem I had to overcome.
Only I didn't think, this one... could be done.
I gave you so much, you left so little.
I feel I'm almost decayed, organs are brittle.
Every time my heart beats, feels like I'm gonna break
Relapse after relapse, I took all I could take.
Some way, some how, I managed to pull through.
My skin and psyche still stained, like a junkies tattoo.
It's been five and a half years, never thought I would be here.
Five and a half years, perception still isn't too clear.
Five and a half years, & I'm not gonna deny...
I steel feel I need your, but yet... I try...
And remember everything, you so gladly took away.
Parts of my life I can't get back.... my little sisters first four birthdays
But...
The day she looked at me and said, "I finally have my bubby back" with a smile on her face.
I knew right then, and there.... my friend........YOU have been replaced.
But to this day, I still fight the urge I have for you.
But, I guess I always will...me..... with my junkie tattoos.