my god

By JingaBelle

your beauty struck me
s p e e c h l e s s
the first time we met
who knew a god would come from oregon
no one else saw you the way i did
this odd gift to see beyond the surface
as if it were the surface
you must have seen something in me too
at one time at least
the way you glowed when you looked at me
no one ever glowed the way you did for me
i have to believe we were something
shining brightly delicate dancing snowflake on a zephyr’s arm
amazing beautiful at one time at least
the part that haunts me is not knowing how we fell apart
theories circle in my head
placing full blame on me, placing full blame on you
smashing into each other, arguing logic
in reality i know we both own the blame
i carry it all with me, though
clumsy girl had to be the one
self-destruction is her skill and those around her pay
it’s carved into my brain
seven years after our fall
seven years i have grieved
seven years of wasted time
seven years is enough
you were deserving of my heart
at one time at least
but it’s time to take back what’s mine
if only i knew how
i woke from yet another dream
you walked through my halls
you were so real i kissed your lips
my tears could not help but fall
i woke with the greatest need
to talk to you once again
to let go of this sense that nothing
can ever truly be good again
i just need to know if it was real
when everything was good
or did i make that up in my head
the way i made you a god

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2009 JingaBelle
Published on Wednesday, December 30, 2009.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "my god"

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  • MGood On Monday, July 11, 2011, MGood (63)By person wrote:

    this is lovely! it hurt my heart...

  • Dilated View On Wednesday, December 30, 2009, Dilated View (583)By person wrote:

    Brutal honesty and self reflection. I have asked myself these questions. Are my memories real or based on false perception? And it eats away. Thank you for sharing.

  • A former member wrote: This poem brought back a memory to me that had for too long lay dead... I to had a goddess once so weak my grasp that I let her slip through my fingers... Clumsy me... Thank you for your poem.

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