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I am a Monster
By Imsosickxxx
I am a monster
I have come to this conclusion in quiet realization
Standing on the edge of some sort of reality I refuse to accept
Yet I know this can’t be anything but true
And every story ever told from the beginning of time runs through my mind
I wait for the hero who has come to slay me
But every story lacks a certain realization
Does my situation parallel every fantastic world where the hero is sent
to slay the beast?
Am I also the hero?
I ask the question out of the duality of man
We are all inclined to both good and evil
There are none of us so perfect in our own respect that we haven’t done
things we aren’t proud of
So where does this leave me?
Am I one person split in two?
Does one side overpower the other?
I am by no means neutral
I live by my morals and my obligations
And still I betray even myself to gain my own selfish foothold
I wish I could look into the mirror and leave behind the parts of me that
rip apart my sanity
I am a generous person, and also vain, caring, and cold
I have two faces, like two sides of a coin, the outcome is never known
even to me
Yet I can’t help thinking that I have already failed myself and everyone
around me
I have never found the part of me that makes me a better person blatantly
in charge
I cry and I hurt, and I return the feelings in kind
All I am left with is the feeling that I have betrayed everything I thought
once to who I am
So I sit alone, casting everything and everyone to the side, and somehow
I continue on
I push past the struggle and have no fears of living alone
Painfully alone
No one could ever care; no one could ever love me
I am a monster
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© 2008 Imsosickxxx
Published on Monday, December 29, 2008.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
Comments on "I am a Monster"
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A former member wrote:
at some instances i feel this way , moreso than i should i think , when i look in the mirror i see a person capable of having normal views and feelings and relationships but in the real life there is actually nothing... i feel you ,thanks :)
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A former member wrote:
damn. hot damn. this was good. ~ hdb.
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On Wednesday, December 31, 2008, Imsosickxxx
(80)
wrote:
Well thank you kind sir.
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On Tuesday, December 30, 2008, Ashteroth
(192) wrote:
Man I really feel you on this, I find myself here a bit. But there's 2 sides to every coin and no matter what you've done your darker nature doesn't devoid your good thoughts. You can only be who you are today. so if you dislike yourself then change and know your and know you deserve to be forgiven.
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On Wednesday, December 31, 2008, Imsosickxxx
(80) wrote:
I agree, it's just hard sometimes when you find yourself being something you swore you never would...change is easier said than done but is worth the change if you can. Thank you.
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On Monday, December 29, 2008, Believer
(48) wrote:
and i will live alone in my side of the world because i am a monster as well. but every now and then i forget and i try to live as a human being would, until i am reminded again and the cycle continues.
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On Monday, December 29, 2008, Imsosickxxx
(80) wrote:
I think if I was to be faced with every bad, immoral, or unrighteous thing I have done, that I would not be able look at myself or accept myseof for who I was anymore. Soemtimes, though, it's good to take off the mask and reflect on things. Accepting them a little at a time is easier to stomach I think...
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