Penguin Feathers

By Echoes of Orpheus

it was the best dream ever.
moses was there
parting the c's
her cleavage grew
like a fetus on steroids.

The toaster shot up my waffles
And it reminded me of how emo cows must all be.
fat as jabba the hut,
showing off their meat
like spiderman in his tights,
though he used more stuffing
than in a turkey on thanksgiving,
those bastards wanted to be cut.

If he wasn't running
as fast as the fucking road runner
but without the spinning legs,
I would have told that stoner,
face more sunken than the titanic,
that there wasn't pot
but a pot of gold
at the end of that rainbow he dashed for.

I woke up with a song stuck in my head
though I was sure it didn't exist.

Something about penguin feathers and alka seltzer,
though I tried to push it away
like it was raping me;

I never liked love songs.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.

Published on Wednesday, October 8, 2008. Filed under: "Comedy" and "Poetry"

Awards

June 25th, 2009

Works Inspired By "Penguin Feathers"

Virgin Moonshine

Comments on "Penguin Feathers"

More comments:

On Monday, July 20, 2009, Blood Saga (81) wrote:

If only the last line weren't kinda good. Other than that, you did a great job of being awful. =)
A former member wrote: Good fucking job luv. I've re-read this about 56 times, and found somthing I missed each time. Bloody marvelous!
On Monday, December 29, 2008, carlosjackal (3015) wrote:

Heh..This just gets better with every read. You created your own version of Jabberwocky :) Hence, your contest win was undeserved. Oh, the bloomin' irony!
On Sunday, December 14, 2008, Morbid_insanity (75) wrote:

hahaha parting the C's it took me a minute to get that. this was cool, definitely not something you run into everyday.
On Monday, December 8, 2008, steuss (92) wrote:

Ha! this is a great poem. I really thought it flowed well and was complete. Hahah, i really like this. Good Job! and congrats
A former member wrote: Il ove this poem, it made me laugh for ages, u really shuld write sum more- oooh and check out my works pleeease, id be very grateful rofl ma gofl.!!1!!!
A former member wrote: Dangit you stole my idea for a poem, Lol. Nah, great though really funny.
On Wednesday, November 26, 2008, thelostmessenger (112) wrote:

whoa. i havent been here lately. what a great suprise, and congratulations!
A former member wrote: I'm not quite sure what to say about this one.. Hahaha..
On Thursday, October 30, 2008, bloody LOVEly (86) wrote:

haha...bizarro! thanks for your mind.
A former member wrote: wow...
On Friday, October 24, 2008, heroineyes (113) wrote:

briliant echoes...absolutely brilliant... parting the c's... awesome...fucking funny dude... *envies your humor*
On Friday, October 24, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

Maybe I should switch my style to comedy... Everyone prefers this over my normal writing... :P Thanks Heroine.
On Friday, October 24, 2008, Narcissa (404) wrote:

Don't YOU dare!!!
On Friday, October 24, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

I was joking, haha I'll take it as a compliment that offended you :P
On Friday, October 24, 2008, Narcissa (404) wrote:

It will take a lot to offend me you know that... write as funny as you want but there better be a love line in everyone!
A former member wrote: "The toaster shot up my waffles" LMAO!!! Congrats! "I woke up with a song stuck in my head/ though I was sure it didn't exist." I love the existentialism of these two lines, so absolutely Left of Left/Right... and the final line= how it sums up the idea of WHAT THE HELL were you meaning (in a purposeful manner, of course!). It's somehow PERFECT: "I never liked love songs." I never Loved Like Songs but I don't think Like Songs exist? They should, really. Why aren't there any Like Songs in this musical 'Verse? Maybe The Emo Cows will write some? I think that'd be a great name for a band in that genre: The Emo Cows (hardcore post-cum-pop-punk w/ just a little blue & mainstream S). Are Waffles the Answer, "like a fetus on steroids"? Cheers!
A former member wrote: The Andy Waffles
On Friday, October 24, 2008, carlosjackal (3015) wrote:

Jon! *tips hat* You're back and commenting! *jumps about*
On Sunday, October 19, 2008, Aleas (171) wrote:

Woohoo! This must taste just as sweet as winning the fart competition. Congrats, sir!
On Sunday, October 19, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

haha, yes probably around there :P thank you.
On Saturday, October 18, 2008, Morbid_insanity (75) wrote:

its so odd that this was be written in an attempt to make bad poetry. i found humorous and just enjoyable to read. idk i can be a little absent minded at times. but congrats nevertheless
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Carmina Gitana (149) wrote:

This is friggin hilarious :) Love it to death . . . to the afterlife even :)
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

haha, thanks for the fave :P wasn't expecting that on my (un)poem. :D
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Narcissa (404) wrote:

Congrats!!! I still enjoy every word.
On Friday, October 17, 2008, SilentStalker (1066) wrote:

...you know, pieces like these aren't true entries for contests as such; freeverse like this is the work of a master hand, most of the time...sure, not much fit together, but it didn't have to...it just worked...
On Friday, October 17, 2008, SilentStalker (1066) wrote:

...what I'm getting at is, good writers just can't easily write shit poetry (exception is 'I feel emotion', though that was genius for the intent); it's not in our blood...we flop every now and then, but it's not a cascade failure...the cascade failures surprisingly never attempt to enter contests like this, unfortunately... :P
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

I'm still surprised I won, to be honest. Carl's poem was certainly worse than mine in it's own ways. Mine was just stupid and full of nonsense images, ideas, and metaphors. If anything I got the votes because it stood out as being a full poem that looked at least like an honest attempt at a structured poem, but had no real point or art to it. Though some people liked that bit... This contest was difficult, overall.
On Friday, October 17, 2008, SilentStalker (1066) wrote:

...'shit-poem' contests are hard to those that actually put thought into their writes...if you need to put a catch onto your writes to make sure people know it's yours, you've already done something creative with the write, and already have a good point on your side. it has to pretty much attempt to be good, but horribly fail at it...which fortunately, not many people can accomplish... :P
On Friday, October 17, 2008, SilentStalker (1066) wrote:

...fido, watching Dido, singing credo, in a speedo, and the mic is, looking like-is, a banana on the floor...Wonka, selling Tonka, on the trailer, of a whaler, made of plastic, so fantastic, each a dollar-ninety-four...
On Friday, October 17, 2008, SilentStalker (1066) wrote:

...and sadly, that still isn't a winning example...I lean too much on structure; I want it to at least 'sound' creative, which makes it work better than a true bad attempt...but I'm not here to say you don't deserve the win; I'm merely stating that this is 'not' a shit write...it's quite the opposite, in all hilarity... ;)
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

haha, why didn't you enter?! This was fun, regardless of everything.
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Mithiras (35) wrote:

Congrats brother! You earned it!
A former member wrote: *hugs* Congrats :P
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Sketso (435) wrote:

Now we're both DP champions !(makes for a great pick-up line, or so I'm told) Although *sniffle* I'm just a "former"...
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Echoes of Orpheus (359) wrote:

Thank you DP for all the votes, Even with the goals of the contest, I'll take this as a compliment :P
A former member wrote: congrats on the (un)contest! this was hiarious.
A former member wrote: hiLarious,even ;)
A former member wrote: lol...that was supreme,..if this was for the un-contest i dont no why it took the ribbon,...f'ing brilliant,..lovedit.
On Friday, October 17, 2008, carlosjackal (3015) wrote:

Hang on, hang on! This was actually half decent with a great title..The peeps got it all wrong! :D
On Friday, October 17, 2008, Adam (245) wrote:

Congats on the win. :)
On Sunday, October 12, 2008, Narcissa (404) wrote:

Thank you for this smile on my face right now...This is an awesome piece...loved it.