wintersong

to leave the fear of losing you
i'd have to die a thousand deaths
in ecstatic waves of hollow pleasure the rest is covered by the
sands of forgetfullness
and so oxygen is lost in this sweet gaseous intoxicant

the rusted metal pieces of the unstoppable machine
creak in their working and threaten to break in the end
so i call it god what keeps me going and wonder why i so desperately need to
find a reason to live when in drawing breath without
thinking
i obviously find reason enough without empty rhetoric
but
i delight in esoteric knowledge so what i don't know
scares me to death and though i know the release of the question would suit me best
i amble on trying to find the right words for the asking not even
considering that if i don't even have the capacity to word a reasonable
question who am i to think i could begin to understand an answer
if it came



so summer turned away
i could feel the wind picking up
and god seemed to have such a heavy hand
i couldn't find the time to quietly resist the pull of this restless
american selfishness
and i sang
'hey mikey p. how'd you come to be so damn
compassionate
i remember the quiet looks your parents always took
when they'd come around
when they'd come around'

our little hell
so you ring the rebel bell
but is it going to last
i ask this desperately
on the fast track
to success

mice are in the grain and we're standing in the rain
despite the four walls surrounding us
so our ties begin to rust as time
grinds
the bones
to pixie dust

then we're borne on the wind to do it all again until
our eyes have been modified sufficiently
to bring into
focus
the expression in creation



the amplified vibration of patterns of electrical activity
voice through replication an expression regarding life
and as death standing on my shoulders looks at the ever after over
the little pile of time that is the only thing obvious to my eyes i like to think death assents to our ideas
regarding the conservation of energy

i would think i would at some time move on from this constant nagging question as to some meaning behind my existence
or a need
at least
for clarification as to origins and consequently motivations

***

i look on you and you are
beautiful
i want to possess you in my arms
i want the warmth from the friction of the function of
our bodies
to blend to one
a degree or two greater than that of either individual
so
then the physics of our two beings come to a singular end
and my atoms smash into you
so you know i'm there

this intersection of time and space
this spinning of particles that produces
a smile on my face
how memory fades while all
remains and is eventually replaced

**

i'm lead to think about a bit of fact or fiction
where supposedly there is an order of probability
around one in six billion
that a genetic sequence will be exactly repeated
and two individuals will share the same
basic codification