(Part 2) Tangled Within The Silk

By unspeakable truth

Well come on in, grab yourself a chair
Nod off, pace the floors, biting nails, spitting them as well
Whatever your pleasure

The chaotic rhapsody is playing
And you got played, didn‘t you?

What a game, never the same, no focal point of reference.
The behaviors run similar lines, and the levels of bottom so personal.
As each side runs with the ball sharing equal time

Look around, really look
Who’s sticking that needle in, self inflicting
Cooking up things, all sorts of delicious things
Nothing more than today’s grand scheme
Razor scraping the minutes away, all compulsive like
Or sucking it in, sucking it up
Deeply
Hold it, come on now, just a little bit longer


Shall we continue the dance?


As this day begins as every other. With first light firing up the obsession and the voices stringing out the strands that make this the most perfect of traps.

Each first light firing up the voices, which speak in rapid succession that surely will help to show a way to string oneself out of this trap.

This seek and find the dope
I really need to find some dope
Hide the dope
Damn, the bitch took my morning hit
Move the money
Where is the money!

There is a way to stop them, help them
Many think they know this, believe it to be true
Why can’t they leave me alone?
Can’t everyone just leave me alone!

Coping skills become whatever is the easiest, most familiar
Obsession might be your bag, with that I can fix, save
Now for me the bottles did their trick every time

How perfectly it all just goes, insane.
All these rules, many attached to, I can’t love you unless, see you unless…
Just can’t, can’t  (get well)
And the lies, upon lies, upon
What a truth they show.


There is blindness about.

Love the risk, that cop. That high before the cooking even begins, all icing on the cake-ish. Ego fanatical feeding of this misconception that things are super duper, right as rain.
Well of course they are as the world is seen through them special glasses. While the hole inches further deeper to that mark where possibility is erased, permanently.

All their fault, look at it all, look, they’re sick, sick!

Must protect them from themselves, seek out truth.

Find the dope, rub in their face and say here liar, you lied, you’re using.
Or flush it away because for now they are safe, hopefully.

Got it all going on. So in control, Wonder Women couldn‘t hold a candle. As the mind bends it all to fit today’s twisted motive. So without a shut off switch and life is going on with smiles missed, and the stories and the hugs. Don’t remember what happened a minute ago, and no one is feeling really well.

But hell it is still all their fault!

Yeah so they found the stash and hello liar. Like this wasn’t known all along. They just didn’t trust what they were seeing was real. And I know they love me but that isn’t enough, and will never be enough as I have to figure out how to love
me first.

I do use the past and all the pain at times to sustain this. The times I missed just help the voices that never shut up, just crescendo.

Taught over and over how to be sneakier and not get caught. They don’t think this is just in me? The pattern started years before and once anyone questioned how I choose to live I made sure I learned how not to get caught by learning from their every reaction. Made sure to learn how to run every scam and to twist it around to make them think they were the problem. I had to protect my sanity … didn’t I?

Wings clipped so long ago…

Everyone plays a part, are you part of the problem or the solution?

This is just the beginning, it will get worse
Oh yeah, I promise.

Now you’re living within the disease.


Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Published on Thursday, September 13, 2007.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "(Part 2) Tangled Within The Silk"

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  • A former member wrote: Started with the first part only moments ago and can't stop now. So much truth to it all. I tried for so long to put the disease personalized to my life in words and struggled... well done

  • A former member wrote: And God, how you describe it so perfectly. Like you've glimpsed in the eyes of every known addict. This hits me hard, so much truth to this, it's beyond real.

  • A former member wrote: This is another one of yours that I will save, and read from time to time, just to reflect. Well done, once again. -Marlena


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