Broken Bottles

By Rachel

I'm afraid.
Maybe that you're dying -
maybe that you're dying before I can fix us.
Most likely that I still can't decide
if I love you or resent you more.

You've become a child in this,
with your hand-me-down skin ten sizes too big
Unprovoked tears and constant need of supervision.
The mere sight of you sickens me
and I can't look you in the eye
without hating everything the world holds.
Some would say I'm more blind than you.

No one makes it out of this alive
but you are supposed to.
How could you let this happen?
You, the one intended to shelter me
keep me safe, so
Don't tell me to be strong
when you're too weak to stand.
Don't expect me to hold them up
when you can't raise your head.

I. will. break.
because I can only stretch so far.
And if that disappoints you
I give up.

One day I'll make a shrine
of broken bottles and crushed up pills
fragments of dreams and old photographs
to remind myself of the good times.
Back when it was okay to hate you.

But until then...
this is all you get.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2007 Rachel
Published on Thursday, July 19, 2007.     Filed under: "Rant"
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Comments on "Broken Bottles"

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  • boneplate On Friday, June 25, 2010, boneplate (68)By person wrote:

    so much pain, loss of trust. losss of everything. SO much easier to just hate and move on but our hearts dont work that way. We allow ourselves to be hurt over and over and we just keep loving.....until we hate...

  • A former member wrote: Ohh Wow...thiz iz inkredible

  • A former member wrote: Amazing write.

  • firsthand_account On Wednesday, January 13, 2010, firsthand_account (7)By person wrote:

    Read this like three times and liked it more on each occasion...especially the fifth stanza, really relate to that...

  • TropicalSnowstorm On Wednesday, September 17, 2008, TropicalSnowstorm (1708)By person wrote:

    "One day I'll make a shrine of broken bottles and crushed up pills fragments of dreams and old photographs to remind myself of the good times. Back when it was okay to hate you." - this is an excellently written piece and I can feel and relate to the emotions you are exploring within it. I hope some of your pain has begun to takes a long time, but it eventually becomes manageable once you actually have some time to process things. Ciao, T/S Scholar

  • Wolfaerie On Tuesday, November 20, 2007, Wolfaerie (116)By person wrote:

    " back when it was okay to hate you" - that line knocked me in the face when I read it. You say so much with every line its hard to absorb it all at once. I love the struggle between hate/love; its powerful. And personally it surfaced one monster of a memory for me. You thread love an hate perfectly. Lovely.

  • A former member wrote: Awesome.

  • A former member wrote: "fragments of dreams and old photographs" so sad, I loved the 5th stanza. ][ ][

  • Mylissa On Wednesday, August 1, 2007, Mylissa (884)By person wrote:

    'with your hand-me-down skin ten sizes too big' perfectly said. I love the passion behind this, it involved me with every word.

  • DarkPoet On Saturday, July 28, 2007, DarkPoet (227)By person wrote:

    Breaking bottles is cathartic. Yay bottles! Oh, and shooting them too. But it's messy. But fun. So you have to decide if you want to clean it up, but it's probably worth it. Bigger guns make bigger messes too. Good luck! Scholar

  • A former member wrote: I would love to comment on the perfection of the poem, if I didn't know where the inspiration came from. All it creates is empathic tears I refuse to shed. Scholar

  • A former member wrote: Telling you to be strong is a mistake hundred-folds wrong. Break like every last piece of china on the precarious shelf they expect you to balance. Everyone needs the breakdown when it gets like this. No one is that strong. Scholar

  • Rachel On Friday, July 20, 2007, Rachel (268)By person wrote:

    *hugs* Thank you.

  • thelostmessenger On Thursday, July 19, 2007, thelostmessenger (116)By person wrote:

    i sat here for a couple minutes letting this sink in after reading... its great. echo saintedmad -oh so powerful. *messenger

  • A former member wrote: i.will.break. fantastic imagery and power with those clear round pieces of punctuation; makes it more....emphatic. something in between resignation and indignation in the voice of this....powerful.nessa

  • Reefer_rave On Thursday, July 19, 2007, Reefer_rave (147)By person wrote:

    Wow is about all I can say, I love it. I had to put my coffee down to finish reading.

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